The Guardians get ASDF
by Sandgirl555
Summary: The Guardians discover some videos called ASDF. As they become obsessed, an old threat arises. Can they stop Pitch in time? And why not use a few ASDF punch lines along the way? And one more thing. I like trains. This is my first fanfic. Please rate and comment, but please no flames. Watch ASDF videos before reading this to understand better.


_Jack squirmed in his sleep. "No… no!" he muttered, "Jill!" In his dream, he and his sister Jill were back on the ice. She was about to fall through it. But this time, he didn't have his staff. Without it, he couldn't reach his sister in time! She'd fall through and drown! Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. What could he-_

"EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP! (slam)" Jack bolted out of bed. WHAT was going on? He raced into North's workshop, his heart pounding. He slid into the room

with his staff in a fighting position, ready for the worst. What was the flop? It didn't sound like a guardian had said it. Was Pitch back? It didn't sound like Pitch.

Did they have a new enemy!? He skidded into North's main workshop. He stopped, only to see… four laughing guardians? Tooth and Sandy were somersaulting

in the air, laughing, North was "Ho ho ho-ing" in a chair, and Bunny was rolling on the ground with laughter. He did a double take. Bunny… laughing? Pitch

dancing around in a pink tutu singing an opera would have shocked him less. On that thought, he would love to see Pitch in a pink tutu. But anyways... Bunny seemed to be

trying to watch North's computer (yes, North has a computer, ever since Bunny invented them) as he was laughing. Jack also looked at North's computer screen just in time to

see a cartoon man look up from his watch.

"I have no idea how to breathe," he stated in a matter-of-fact voice. Jack stared, gaping.

"What's this?" he managed to get out.

"It's ASDF," gasped Bunny, "Did you know carrots are good for your eyesight?" he said. The guardians looked at each other for a moment then burst out laughing.

"This is just unfortunate," Jack muttered.

"Jackie boy," North said, dragging Jack to his chair, "We show you what we mean."

(15 minutes later) "Ahahahahahahaaaa! Hey man look at my new dog!"

"Yeah that's pretty cool AWW there's no dog there!" Bunny supplied. "Whuuuuuuh!" (Jack) "Whuuuuuuuuuh!" (Bunny) "Whuuuuuuuuuuuuh!" (Jack and

Bunny). They burst out laughing again.

"My life will never be the same," snorted Jack, rolling on the floor. But as they were laughing, a dark, sinister force was right around the corner... it crept up,

slowly freezing the elves laughter and replacing it with fear. The yetis slowly stopped bellowing and started to shiver.

Despite the obvious evidence, the guardians remained oblivious to the threat. They were to busy "throwing the cheese" at a fake alien ship North had built.

But they weren't going to remain oblivious much more. Just then, a silky, echo-ey voice said from behind them,

"Hello Guardians. It's been a long time, now hasn't it? Didn't think I could stay in that hole forever, did you? How did you like my nightmare, Jack?" There was

a length of silence broken only with giggles as the guardians fought to control their laughter, as they still hadn't gotten over the pure randomness of ASDF.

Pitch glanced around the room, confused at the lack of reaction. He walked up to a giggling (yes, OUT LOUD giggling) Sandy. "Uhh… Sandy? Hi. It's me. Pitch.

Your enemy. Hello?" Sandy continued giggling. "You are acting like the children you protect, Sanderson," sneered Pitch, "But soon you wont exist to protect

them," he smiled darkly, waiting. His horrified reaction should happen in about 3... 2... 1... Sandy continued giggling. Pitch just gaped. Had his arch enemy

gone insane? He glanced at the door he was standing next to, wondering whether or not he should push Sanderson Mansnoozie's smug little face right

through it! That is, until he realized Tooth was behind it.

"WHO'S THERE!?" Jack shouted.

"THE DOOR!" boomed the rest of the guardians. Pitch felt his confusion and anger grow as the guardians rolled on the floor laughing again. The door slammed

open, pinning him to a wall.

"OH! You think that's FUNNY, HUH? Well I'll show you FUNNY!" He grabbed North's collar and yanked him into a sitting position, seething. "I'm going to punch you in the face!" he shouted.

"But it iz opposite day," replied North. "Oh nooooo!" shouted Jack, pretending Pitch himself had said it. North punched Pitch in the face.

Everybody cracked up again. Pitch glanced up, massaging his now bruised jaw.

"This isn't funny! What's wrong with you?"

"Level up," stated Jack.

"Groph glrgle rphumbi!" shouted Phil the Yeti, holding out cookies.

"Cookies! Cookies! Cookies!" yelled out all the guardians except North.

"I like trains." he said. Pitch stormed off. The humiliation, well, it wouldn't go unpunished. This means war. He willed his dark shadow to sweep him away to his

lair, where he could plot his revenge. The only remainder of him was a cold, creepy hollow feeling that something evil was there. And that it was going to be

back.

Meanwhile, in North's workshop:

Jack noticed North was scooping up tools and random building pieces.

"What's that for?" Jack asked. The guardians had finally gotten over the randomness of ASDF and became serious again.

"Jack, ve have humiliated Pitch een his attempt to return. He vill not like that. And he vill return, I feel it een my belly. I am simply preparing for him now," North replied.

"And how are you preparing?" asked Jack.

"I am building Mine Turtle,"

**Please rate and comment! I hope you like it so far.**


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